Fear ~ Don’t Fight It and Don’t Feed It

I posted only a poem and a few short words last week, because I was in the midst of a whole week of anger! It surprised me, because I don’t do a lot of anger, but there it was. We’ve talked many times about how important it is to feel our feelings and not minimize them or pretend they’re not there. A common self-help saying comes to mind, “When we bury our feelings, they are buried alive.” Then they come out of us in some really counter-productive ways… like spewing the green vomit of anger on a completely unsuspecting loved one, for example. Or the anger festers deep inside and eats us alive over time. So I spent the week feeling and breathing some real nastiness.

One of the most important things I reminded myself NOT to do was to attach a big story to why I was feeling anger. It’s important to remember that when we create a story, we end up living inside that story. We may start to close down and obsess on the story line, which easily takes our awareness away from the messages of Spirit. What we find is that sometimes our feelings aren’t about the stories at all… They are about things we don’t know or understand yet. The Angels taught us not to “predict possible futures” if we can help it. Rather, it is best to stay in the present moment, feel and breathe, and see what comes. We must also remember that creating a story is more like thinking about our feelings, rather than actually feeling them.

Coming into the Present Moment – What about feelings that come from trauma? One of the things that happens, especially when we’re on the hamster wheel in our minds, creating stories and trying to describe and justify our feelings, is that we re-live the trauma and the pain, over and over. This keeps it alive and sometimes even accentuates it. We forget that the trauma is in the past. Our stories can even project the fear and pain into the future, creating dread and overwhelm. When we come into the present moment, we are able to calm down and center. Then we realize that the trauma itself is over. Now we can move more fluidly through our emotion about the pain, instead of recreating the pain itself over and over again.

In our current situation, processing the trauma is easier said than done, because we didn’t have one big trauma that is over. We are in the middle of a trauma that is ongoing. This is frightening and creates a sense of dread about whether or not it will get worse. Still, the answer is the same… When we come into the present moment, we come into our bodies where we can hold those feelings gently… Dare I say, hold the fear… and move through it. Denying it doesn’t work. Accentuating it doesn’t help. But when we simply hold it and allow ourselves some grace and the fullness of time, we get our power back and we can move through it. The fear might still be there, but we are not expending so much energy trying to run away from it… or kill it.

My friend, Barbara, and I have talked about the story of Jesus spending 40 days in the desert, talking with the devil. This is sometimes referred to as “the temptation,” but I don’t think Jesus was actually tempted by the devil. He knew better. Have you ever thought about the fact that Jesus did not kill the devil or in any way try to destroy him? Instead, he used a tool I call “disappearing.” He simply knew better than to be taken in by the force of darkness that appeared right in front of him. Jesus picked up his Power and simply “disappeared” him, even while the devil was standing right there.

We’ve heard this said another way… the way it is said in the picture at the top. Peace, being faith-filled and disappearing the darkness around you, is that calm place in the eye of the tornado… All hell is breaking loose around you and you are able to be centered in your heart. We may not be able to control the things happening around us, but we can find faith and peace in our hearts.

Please be in Gratitude for those who are on the front lines, feeding us, delivering what we need and keeping things going in so many ways. Please pray for those in charge to have the wisdom needed to plan well and to keep our best interest and the Greater Good in their hearts. May each be rewarded ten-fold for the things they put into the world. Please say a prayer to honor the dying and those already departed. Most of all, remember that it only takes the light of one little candle to dispel the darkness… Be The Light.

Please try this at home.

I welcome your comments or private messages so I know if I’m hitting the mark for you and where you would like this blog to go next.

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  1. Debbie Bisio · May 4, 2020

    Oh Lily,
    I am blown away! You really spoke to me and fortunately I am in a place at this moment to hear your words. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
    So blessed to have read your word tonight.

    “ We forget that the trauma is in the past. Our stories can even project the fear and pain into the future, creating dread and overwhelm. When we come into the present moment, we are able to calm down and center. Then we realize that the trauma itself is over.”


    • lilyphelps · May 4, 2020

      Blessings, dear Debbie. We’re all in this together and I Am so Grateful that something I said has been a blessing to you!


  2. Sandy Sue · May 6, 2020

    When my therapist & I work with PTSD stuff, we shift the Old Story by focusing on how I survived. Boy, howdy! That makes a huge difference

    As we live through this traumatic time, I think that’s my strategy, too—how am I walking *through* it.


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