Blessed to Give and to Receive

A friend once asked me, “So this Receiving thing… How do I even do that?”

I told him that asking the question is actually the first step! The first thing you need to do is open, and continue to open, to the possibility that you can receive… that you will receive. You need to know that it is a good thing to receive, since it completes the circle we create when we give. This is something I didn’t understand… Giving and receiving create a circle. When I refused to ask for help or let others take care of me, I was stopping the natural cycle of sharing. By being the only one who gave, I robbed other people of the opportunity to be in service to me! Eventually God said to me, “If you continue to refuse to receive, your ability to serve will begin to diminish.” Holy smokes, I better listen to that! I don’t know anything about the details of your life, so I don’t know what specific examples and opportunities you will have from which to receive, but it definitely starts with the willingness to allow good things to come to you. The ability to receive is, first and foremost, a mind-set.

For example: When I had the first photo shoot for my website I texted a few friends to ask for support. Asking for help is an act of willingness to receive. And it was scary for me! “What if I ask for uplifting support and none comes? Will I still be able to feel worthy?” Two of the friends I texted were easy, because we have been friends for a very long time. I know without a doubt that they love me, so even if one of them hadn’t responded, I would have been okay. The third friend I texted was the one that pushed me outside my comfort zone. It’s hard enough just to ask for help and it’s really scary when you’re not sure how your request will be received. But I also know that I need to be pushed outside my comfort zone sometimes, so I have learned to take this kind of risk and allow myself to feel vulnerable. It’s not always comfortable, but I always learn something.

As you continue to open to the possibility of receiving, look at the times you catch yourself resisting an opportunity to receive… or the times you completely miss the possibility that there was something there for you. Then look at the reasons you missed it… Where is your resistance? What is your self-talk around the possibility of receiving? When you do allow yourself to receive, what do you hear in your head about yourself and the experience? Is it an issue of self-worth? Do you hear self-talk that says, “I’m not worthy of having good things come to me.” Or “I don’t deserve this.” Or “I’m not good enough so nothing good will ever come to me.” These were the kinds of statements I heard in my head before I started opening to receiving.

Another one for me was, “If I don’t do wonderful things for other people all of the time, nobody will want to be with me.” An interesting thing about this statement is that there is some truth to it. I was really sad to see the people who went away when I stopped doing ALL the work in the relationship. But it’s better to know who is truly in your corner and it’s healthier to stop putting a lot of energy into fair-weather friends. Sometimes receiving is just a matter of stopping something that is wearing you out or sucking you dry… What a gift to yourself that is!

I know it feels like always giving to others comes from the High Self, because we are taught to give, give, give and never think of ourselves, but this can actually be mixed up thinking. We deserve to be cared for, just like everybody else does and much of that care needs to come to ourselves, from ourselves… From the inside, not from the outside. Otherwise, we wear out and become resentful.

In my deepest self-discovery about giving and receiving I learned that I needed to be needed. I couldn’t feel worthy without input from other people. I learned that I was not giving as an act of service or grace… I was giving because I needed to get. I had a lot of work to do around that. I still give a lot to other people, but the difference now is that I give from a different place… I give from a place of Self Love, not from a place that says, “I need you to love me, so I will take care of you and you can make me see that I’m good enough.” I’m learning to give from a place of abundance, instead of giving from a place of lack and need.

Another part that can be confusing is that receiving is not the same as taking. I know people who are great at taking! They take and take and take all the time. But they often feel empty as though nobody ever gives them anything good. This is because they have not yet learned to receive! They take out of desperation and never open their hearts to allow themselves the opportunity to feel the joy and grace of truly receiving. Again, it’s a mind-set. It’s all about the intention and the energy of the experience. When we give and receive with love and feel the blessing of the experience, we are experiencing and sharing God-given abundance. As you will hear me say all the time, it’s all about Self Love!

I think of it this way… Jesus said the most important thing is… “Love God and love your neighbor as yourself.” Religion often forgets about the last 2 words of that statement, “as yourself.” Jesus knew we needed Self Love before we could love others and this is what he taught. The truth is, you can’t give what you don’t have! (Right?) So if we don’t have love for ourselves first, we don’t have love to give away. Once we learn to love ourselves, we actually have way more love to give into the world. In this way, practicing Self Love is the greatest gift you can give to the world!

Please try this at home!

 

I welcome your comments or private messages so I know if I’m hitting the mark for you and where you would like to go next.

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Become The One You’ve Been Waiting For

I once heard the word “blog” defined as, “Never have so many, with so little to say, said so much.” I think that’s hysterical and right now, at this particular moment, I need a little humor in my life. Why? Because I’m here today to launch my own blog … Yes, I’m venturing into the world I call “Insight out!” I hope you’ll enjoy what I have to say and learn some things that help you live a better life … Fuller, richer and deeper, as we say. I believe we all have a story to tell and often we can learn a lot from somebody else’s story. If my story enlightens or enlivens your life a bit, I will be so happy!

If I were to sum up my Spiritual Journey, I might use the phrase, “Becoming The One You’ve Been Waiting For.” First-and-foremost, this statement screams at me, “Stop waiting!” Don’t we do that? Wait, because fear says, “You better not do it!” But why not? Often it’s because “they” might not like it. And who are “they?” Who even knows? It doesn’t really matter. We all have a certain degree of fear about what other people think of us; I know I do. I will say that this is one of the great gifts of getting older … You stop caring so much about what other people think of you. Yep, I have actually learned to keep my own counsel on a fairly regular basis. Not that somebody else can’t still squash me like a bug. It happens. But it happens a lot less often and with much less devastation these days. I’ve worked very hard to become The One I’ve been waiting for.

So, why write a blog? Why take the risk and put myself out there for the world to see … and criticize? First answer: I don’t really know why and, truth be told, I might be wrong.:) Second answer: Because I have been so gifted in my Journey and I want to give back! Third answer, akin to the second: There are few things cooler in life than having somebody tell you that something you said or did has had a great big positive impact on their lives. I just love having a conversation or an experience with someone and watching them come to realize something about their lives that they really, really needed. It’s like watching a flower open right before your eyes.

Mind you, that third answer is risky. It is fraught with the possibility of coming from the ego. There’s a fine line we walk between wanting to help and thinking we are the end-all and be-all for somebody else’s problems. That whole guru thing can happen. Anyone who puts themselves out there as a possible example of “how to do it” runs the risk of coming from their ego. It’s something we must all be mindful about. And even if we feel certain that we are in humility, other people might be just as certain that we think we’re “all that” and now you have a critic on your hands. I guess I still think it’s worth it, so I’m gonna stick my toe in the deep and dangerous waters of public self-analysis as an opportunity to assist people in learning to heal their own lives. And certainly it will help me continue to heal myself.

What this means to me is that I’m going to show you what I look like as a student of life in the hope that it helps you take a look at yourself in a similar way. Not that you need to do specifically what I do, but hopefully I will inspire you to go inside and figure out some things that are keeping you stuck. God once called me, “A Sower of Seeds” and that fits well with what I hope to do here … Sow seeds of Love and Light that you might decide to tend and then enjoy watching them grow.

In my book “Second Coming – Awakening The Christ Within” I talk about the idea that it’s time for us to stop waiting for that one special person to come and save us all. We must pick up our power and participate in God’s Plan. It is time to awaken to the Spirit of God inside us. In preparing us to awaken, Jesus actually showed us how to Become The One.

Another aspect of “Become The One you’ve been waiting for” that I struggled with for years (Read: most of my life!) was the idea that someday a man would come who would be the answer to all my questions. Thankfully, I have learned my way through this for the most-part, but there are still remnants of the idea that having a mate would make everything right. (And I do so love that flutter in the belly that new romance brings, don’t you?) I think some of this is natural, since I truly believe we are meant to couple. But we must not think of ourselves as incomplete or lacking simply because we are not currently in a romance!

I will do my best to make sure the posts aren’t too long. And I’ll get enough meat in front of you that you can really sink your teeth in. Unlike many other blogs, I welcome your input and comments. Give me ideas of what you’d like to hear about. And I will be especially excited to hear what is working or not working for you. Let’s share some mindfulness about the way we take this walk of life. Join me on this Journey toward self-empowerment, Self Love and all out bliss! Let’s practice together. Let’s be in a state of Becoming.

Please try this at home!

Second Coming – Awakening The Christ Within

Please visit my website WherePathsCross.net

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